A curse

I have a strange way of coping with my Asperger’s. Or at least, thats what I think. Since I was diagnosed in 2005, Ive done everything I can to ignore the fact that I actually have a neurobiological disability, a autism spectrum disorder. I didnt want to talk about it, to read about it or get any help for it. Its 2008 and Im still in the denial phase. Its really, really hard for me to deal with it. I know more about it, and Im starting to know what my difficulties are, but Im also angry cause it makes me feel so, uhm, disabled.

I cant do the things I want cause I get tired too fast. I cant sit with my friends in a cafè, cause I wont be able to hear what they are saying. I dont understand what people say to me unless I look at their mouths when they speak. Last week, I had three appointments after each other. Monday, tuesday and wednsday. I thought I was going to die. And these were appointments with my friends.

To me, asperger’s syndrome is a curse. I wish I didnt have it.