Quick updates

I’ll continue posting quick updates here for Jacky

I’m seeing the endocrinologist on april 7th (I’ll probably take my first shot the same day) and I have a meeting with the surgeon (for chest reconstruction) on march 26th.

LiveJournal

I’m tired of wordpress. I like the LJ friendspagethingy better.
Thats where I’ll be posting stuff (and im too lazy to cross post).

greengeishaman.livejournal.com <–

(:

I’m really sorry I havent been blogging much lately, there are not a lot of things happening in my life right now (and the fact that no one comments my blog makes me even less motivated. Haha). I’ve started taking russian classes and yesterday I visited Linus at the hospital after his second mastectomy. Two other transguys had their surgeries the same day so it turned into an unoffical FTM meet up. Funny. I wonder if anyone will have their surgeries on the same day as I do (well, yeah, I mean other FtMs.. that I know ).

I’m also crawling my way into the world of kink and BDSM. Thank you Emma and Amber for opening that door.

Oh, and you can read interesting(?) coming out info about me here

I just realized..

it has been 11 months since I started seeing the gender team in Stockholm. If everything goes the way I want it to, I should be diagnosed with GID sometime in October or November. I’m seeing my therapist tomorrow and on thursday I’m gonna see the team’s psychologist. I hope she’ll let me do the various tests then. Cause.. then.. then.. maybe I can be diagnosed on my next meeting with the therapist.

It feels weird and Im scared and nervous as hell.
Maybe I’ll be on hormones soon. What if they refuse to diagnose me?
What if I have to wait?

Breathtaking.

The Gender Odyssey conference is breathtaking. Im having a hard time sorting all the impressions and feelings and thoughts and new ideas. I’m gonna try to write something about the things that Ive experienced so far (one more day to go!).

I attended a workshop this morning called “Male privileges and challenges”. We talked about oppression and intersectionality. It was really fun as I already know a thing or two about intersectionality and anti-oppression work (thanks RFSL Ungdom!). The workshop leader divided us into small groups and gave each group a paper with different options on it. I found out that not only am I spoiled, I’m also highly privileged because I come from a country where basically all health services are free. When my group talked about the people who did not have any privilege at all, they always mentioned people without dental care or health insurance.

I also got to meet Peterson Toscano. We had lunch, and he gave me his “Homo no mo’” DVD. Later in the evening I got to see his one person play “Transfigurations” about gender noncomformative people in the Bible. Very interesting. I will have to find the gospel of Thomas.

Whaaat else.. hmm. Oh yeah, I did also go to the FAG 101 workshop. It was incredible. People were talking about wanting to be with a biomale, but they didntdare to because the gay world is so cock-centered. There were discussions about male intimacy and friendship. I also came out as a “man loving - cock hating – wannabe faggot”

I got to thank Raven Gildea for his absolutely fantastic daddy/boy novel “The perfect one night stand”. Yes, he’s here. Ive also been chatting with Eli Clare the author of ”Exile and Pride: Disability, Queerness, and Liberation” . Yes, you better worship me now.

Attended a play party tonight. Didnt play with anyone, but watched a couple of really awesome scenes. Including one with three transguys in various stages of their transitioning.

Wow. So, Im heading back to Portland tomorrow.

I should blog more often

I felt that I had to blog just to let you know that Im still alive. I still dont have a computer at home, so Im currently using the public library computer.

This is what ive been upto:

1. Europride
2. Met SWiSH (Straight Women in Support of Homos), Joshua Klipp and Ayden Scheim from Queer Transmen 
3. Rediscovered my sexuality and trying to accept that I’m a slut.
4. Read “The Ethical Slut”, “Nineteen-eighty four” and “The Solitaire mystery”.
5. Tried to be a lesbian for a whole week.

yes. thats pretty much it. I’ll write more when I fix my computer in the beginning of september.

love.

Muhaha!

Hahaha!

Bush Tours America To Survey Damage Caused By His Disastrous Presidency

Thank you Polyamorously Perverse

Gender Subversion

For every girl who is tired of acting weak when she is strong, there is a boy who is tired of appearing strong when he feels vulnerable. For every boy who is burdened with the constant expectation of knowing everything, there is a girl tired of people not trusting her intelligence. For every girl who is tired of being called over-sensitive, there is a boy who fears to be gentle, to weep. For every boy whom competition is the only way to prove his masculinity, there is a girl who is called unfeminine when she competes. For ever girl who throws out her E-Z-Bake oven, there is a boy who wishes to find one. For every boy struggling not to let advertising dictate his desires, there is a girl facing the ad industry’s attacks on her self esteem. For every girl who takes a step toward her liberation, there is a boy who finds the way to freedom a little easier.

From CWCs (CrimethInc. Ex-Worker’s Collective) Gender Subversion poster.  25 posters for $2! They also have a beauty subversion poster and lots of books. Some of their books, like the anarchist cookbook, are banned in the US (or so Ive heard O_o)

Stop transphobia at Pride

I feel like I should comment the London Pride incident were transgendered and transsexual women (including Roz Kavaney) were told to use the disabled toilets instead of the regular womens toilets. Roz gathered a bunch of transmen and women, and together they made a collective fuss. The offical PRIDE volunteers responded by screaming “We’re being attacked by a mob of trannies! Send backup!”. A policeman arrived and said that they had to be able to show their gender recognition certificates to  prove that they had the right to use the toilet.

I wish I had something smart to say about this, but right now, Im too angry to think. Ive sent an email to London Pride, so should you. Their email is info@pridelondon.org

There were also incidents where bisexuals had received mean comments from gays and lesbians during the parade. Its obvious that Pride is for homosexuals only.

I really liked Nix Williams and Rebeccas responses.

Real maleness or something like that

Call me stupid, but I dont understand why this commercial was made. In fact, I think this Burger King commercial sucks donkey butt (and Im sorry I just offended all the good donkeys out there!). It seems to me that Burger King is trying to protect the “real” man by showing the world that real men eat meat. Real men would even walk out on their date if they knew they could get meat instead of “chick food”. Is it true that the “real maleness” is threatened?  If so, by who? Gay men? single moms? Men giving birth? Meterosexual straight men? Butch lesbians? Aliens with effeminisation guns?

Personally, I dont believe in such a thing as “real maleness”, especially not the one being thrown at us through in tv commercials, FHM magazine etc. Most men I know would not meet the requirements for “real maleness” and wouldn’t be considered “real” men by many people, even if they tried. By requirements I mean, for example, heterosexual, meat-eater, beer lover, footballfan (or another sport). A real man must also be very handy, he must love working on his car, and he’s always ready for sex. Always.

Hm. I should stop blogging at 3am cause I keep losing my train of thoughts.  I have no idea what I was going to write here. Hahah! I’m therefore gonna stop and ask some questions to the readers: What is “real maleness” to you? What does a real man look like, what is he like? Do you believe there’s a “real maleness*”?

*heck, I bet I could’ve used “masculinity”, but hey, you know, whatever.